It's official. I'm knocked up. Again.
Does everyone have that image of how you think things will happen when you get pregnant? The excitement of getting the call from your doctor, figuring out a creative way to tell your husband, your mom sharing tears of joy with you, lovingly decorating the nursery in the gender neutral, lambs and bunnies theme from page twenty-seven of the Pottery Barn Kids catalog...yeah, none of that ever happened to me.
The first time I ever peed on a stick, I was 17 and a senior in high school. I was sitting on the can in the Osco bathroom, praying that there was only one pink line. They don't show that image in the EPT commercials. They always show the happy couple embracing after they wait the allotted 3 minutes before walking into the bathroom and finding two perfect little lines. There is no sobbing teenager bargaining with God that she will be more careful if he will just make her NOT pregnant. No dejected 31-year-old angrily throwing the pee stick across the bathroom after getting ANOTHER negative. No couple examining the results window with a magnifying glass trying to decipher a second line.
This blog is dedicated to those stories. The less-than-perfect pregnancy and parenting moments that will never make it onto the pages of Parents magazine. Messy, gross, crass, and completely hilarious.
Welcome to my world.
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